you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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