I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
