His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
