New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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