Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
