if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
