I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
