He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
