I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
