conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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