My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
operation harelip BJ is a go
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
