Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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