new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
