so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
