So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
