I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize