I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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