After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
