do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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