So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
