There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
