I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I forget how to act sober
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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