Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
