Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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