So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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