im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
