Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
