i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
