guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize