so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
