I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
