I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
