Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
