i just had sex bonerless
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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