you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
