I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
