she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
