You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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