yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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