Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
