I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
