Porn is love you can see.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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