My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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