ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
