There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
