There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He felt like a one man threesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
