it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
