just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
