you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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