i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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