What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
