How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Randomize
