would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
