it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
