So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
