i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize