You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
