I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
