I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
