i was born a porn star she said
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ladies don't puke and tell
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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