I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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