girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
