When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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