Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
