don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
