I hope mine doesn't look like that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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