i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
