Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
