Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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