We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
